Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, right?

What happens when it’s not? What happens when your heart isn’t in it, when traditions feel more like obligations, or when the season only reminds you of what’s missing?

This has not been uncommon territory for my family. In fact, my husband, Joey, recently got out of the hospital, and after a month that left us both exhausted, the thought of hauling out boxes of decorations and keeping up with the usual holiday busyness felt overwhelming.

So, we decided to throw tradition out the window.

For Thanksgiving, we skipped the turkey and had Mexican food. We traded Black Friday shopping for a visit to a car museum. Instead of decking every corner of the house, we got our first-ever live tree and kept it simple. We tried new places to see Christmas lights and even gave ourselves permission to take lazy days off when we’d normally dive back into work.

And you know what? It’s been one of my favorite holiday seasons.

I share this because I know we’re not alone in feeling this way. If you’re grieving, overwhelmed, or just struggling to muster holiday cheer, hear this: It’s okay to do things differently. It’s okay to give yourself permission to rest, to skip the traditions that feel too heavy, and to redefine what Christmas looks like for you this year.

Christmas isn’t about how you celebrate. It’s about a God who loved you enough to enter into your pain and offer you hope that nothing in this world can take away.

The kind of hope that pierces through our worst despair.

The kind of hope that shines brightest when life feels the darkest.

The kind of hope that you can cling to when nothing else feels stable.

Do what’s best for you and your family this season. There’s no wrong way to Christmas. And if this year feels quieter, less festive, or even a little messy, it’s the perfect opportunity to truly feel the Hope that was born in Bethlehem.

Thinking of you this season. ♥️💚

When The Holidays Hurt