How to Keep Your Fear and Pain from Influencing Parenting

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (2 Corinthians 10:3-5 KJV)

As child, I was sexually violated by an adult male who chose to use his free will as a weapon to destroy my innocence and self-worth. For many years, I buried the images from that night, only to recall them abruptly during joyous occasions. While in high school, I acknowledged this sin done against me before God, and He began the healing process. Now, more than 10 years later, God is still restoring me.

On the day of our older daughter’s gender reveal, I was beyond excited to get one step closer to binding with the miracle growing inside me. Then, suddenly, I was burdened with the fear of her innocence being taken, stripped beyond human repair. Although I never stopped praying, the fear was crippling; one that kept me up at night and influenced many of my parenting decisions.

It was not until then, that I realized that my prayers and my soul (mind, will and emotions) were not synchronized. I would sincerely pray God’s hedge of protection but, sadly, still imagine the worst. The ungodly images exalted themselves above the knowledge I have of God. I know, without a doubt, that He’s faithful, a protector, a comforter and so much more.

However, I was not imagining Him to be all of this and more for my daughter. WOW!!! This revelation recently hit me like a ton of bricks, and encouraged me to intentionally change the negative images in my mind into godly images.

Now, I imagine God’s guardian angels covering and protecting both of my daughters and making their way prosperous as they come and go. I trust God and take Him at His word. Affliction shall not rise up a second time, for He will bring an utter end to it, according to Nahum 1:9. I know God did not cause the egregious sin to happen to me; it was the direct result of man’s free will. I also know God was there with me (Deut. 31:8) and deeply saddened by its occurrence. (Heb. 4:15) Therefore, I find resolve in knowing that He is making all things to work together for my good. (Rom.8:28) Hence, I am writing this to encourage you.

Identify the ungodly images that plague your imagination, and lay them at the feet of Jesus. Ask God to flood your imagination with godly images, ones that are aligned with His Word. The pain that has scarred you does not have to be a part of your children’s stories.

Pray this:

Father, I humbly come before you in spirit and in truth. Thank you for drawing me into your presence. I bring before you the ungodly images that have plagued my imagination. I cast them down at your feet, surrendering each one unto you. Remove even the residue of these thoughts far from me and increase the volume of your Word within me. Enable me to meditate and imagine Your Word being performed in my life and in the lives of (names of your child or children). Give me a godly imagination!!! I receive it now, in Jesus’ matchless name, Amen!!!

(Don’t rush. Take the time to praise God and trust Him to renew you by His spirit.)

This is an excerpt from my 21 day devotional, Prayers Mommy Prayed After You© 2016. 

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