This is something I talked about on our radio show, and Producer Sherri and some others said I should post it, so here goes.

1. He takes responsibility.

He's not an excuses guy. He doesn't run away from his own mistakes. He doesn't see himself as a victim. This, to me, is the essence of masculinity. There’s a word for a man who will not take responsibility: A child.

2. He practices self-denial.

This can be shown in many ways: He can successfully work a job he doesn’t like. He shows discipline with his money. Or – how about this: He listens to people even when they’re not talking about something he enjoys.

3. He doesn’t respond in anger.

Some men think acting in anger is a mark of manliness. Quite the opposite is true. Self-control, perspective, and forgiveness are marks of strength.

4. He gives attention, respect, and kindness to NON -attractive females.

A very important, related question: How does he treat people who can do nothing for him? If he tends to ignore (or mocks) them, you’re very possibly dealing with a narcissist. Run away. Now.

5. His instinct is to protect, not hurt.

He doesn’t take advantage of you when you're weak. And when he encounters the vulnerable... he doesn't make fun of them. He defends and befriends them... even when no one’s looking. By the way: Even if a man seems “church impressive”, check for this stuff. Being on stage, leading worship, talking a great Christian game, being admired in public, leading a ministry – that’s neato. But it has nothing to do with being a great husband.