My son, Bennett, was born 10 months ago. He is the greatest blessing in my life, and being a father has taught me more than I could have ever imagined.

I thought I was prepared: we read the books and asked for advice. But there’s a difference between knowing you’ll be a dad and becoming one. The past 10 months have been full of surprises, stretching moments, and joy I didn’t know existed.

If you’re a new dad, about to be one, or just love a good dose of honesty, here are the five most important things I’ve learned on this wild, wonderful journey so far.

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There are no good and bad days.

When it comes to the nights that my son was up every hour, I always used the phrase, “Bennett is having a bad night.” In reality, he has no idea what a good or a bad day is. He just knows when he’s hungry and knows when he’s being comforted by his mom and dad.

My reaction is what makes a day good or bad. Whether it’s a restless night or health issues, I am the one who can react poorly and write the narrative of a bad day into existence. It’s up to me to choose joy and let that cascade into all parts of my family’s life.

I’m capable of being who I am on no sleep.

Going into having a child, I knew that there would be sleepless nights. I work in morning radio, and struggle to fall asleep on a good night. So, I already knew how to operate on less sleep than most people.

Having a kid has put that to the test, but I have found that getting less sleep does not have to result in a lesser version of myself. It takes the people around you to pick you up when you’re struggling, though, and I’m grateful for teammates in Betty and Wally who help me when I’m running on E.

Turn your “I wishes” into “I wills.”

I’ve primarily been applying this motto to my fitness journey. Before I was a dad, I rocked the dad bod, but my goal is to reshape that body into its former soccer player glory, give or take twenty pounds.

I spent a lot of months after Bennett was born saying, “I wish I had gotten in shape” before he was born, but I have recently shifted my mindset towards “I will get in shape,” and I think that can apply to numerous aspects of fatherhood. “I wish I had reacted better to my son's outburst” can become “I will react better to his next one.”

My wife is right.

No explanation needed.

Everything is temporary.

The sleepless nights will turn into well-rested ones…and then they’ll go back to sleepless nights. Immobility will become partial mobility, and then you enter the phase when you have no idea where they are because of how fast of a crawler they are crawling. Every season has a timer on it, and you’ll make it through the treacherous ones, but slow down and enjoy the good when it’s in front of you before it crawls away.

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I’m still learning every day, and I know there’s a lot more ahead. If you’re in the thick of it too, know this: you’re not alone. Every dad is figuring it out as he goes. Give yourself grace, lean on your people, and try to find joy even in the chaos. These early days are exhausting, beautiful, and they’re worth every second.

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