E-MESS: Hate for God

Hello Wally and crew I am writing you because I'm full of hate for God. I recently gave birth to my daughter. She was still born at 2lb. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through and it's making my heart fill with hate. I don't want to lose my faith but day by day I feel it slipping away as i drift darker and darker into depression. My husband and I can't hardly look at each other without getting into a fight. We're both trying to except the fact are daughter is in a better place in haven. We already have 2 wonderful children God has blessed us with and I am truly grateful for them. I just need prayers that we can over come this. So if you guys could just pray that I find it in my hart to forgive God. I just can't help but think I'm being punished for something I did wrong. I'm her mother I was to keep her from harm and I failed her miserably.

First off, let me preface anything I say with I cannot understand exactly what you are going through and I won't pretend to. No one could unless they have lost a child. That said, and looking at this from the outside, here are some thoughts. First, from others I have talked to the stuff with you and your husband is normal. It is not good, but it is normal. You guys have to get on the same page because losing your daughter is bad enough, but losing your marriage and affecting your kids is another tragedy. Sadly, this happens to people who don't notice the signs. I really hope and pray that you guys can get on the same page and help each other through this unimaginable situation. There is no real playbook for this, you guys have to find your way and as crazy as it seems it can strengthen you instead of tearing you apart if you work together. As for God. He is not punishing you for anything in your past, and there are some things unfortunately as parents we can't protect our kids from. I do not know why bad things happen to good people. I wrestled with that for many years. The point I got to was that it is just the price of living here on earth. There is beauty and there is pain. God doesn't answer every prayer like was ask. If he did there would be no death because we never pray for anyone to die it is always for someone to be healed. I think the problem for us is we do not see the whole picture and how any good can come from something so horrible like losing a child. In the moment no one wants to hear that because it hurts so bad, and I get that. In the Bible Jesus was once asked about a man who was crippled who sinned, his parents or him. Jesus answered neither it was so that God would be glorified through that man. It could be the same for you. Something horrible has happened and people who do not know God will look at how you handle this and it will show them that God is bigger than even the worst thing most of us can imagine. The choice is up to you do you blame God and run from him or run to him to help you get through this. God never promises us no pain. In fact, he actually says there will be pain, but in that he promises that he will help us get through it. I know you probably don't want to hear any of this but I just wanted to address your questions based on what I have learned over the years through my own failures, fears and anger at God. I know that getting angry with God doesn't lead to a good place. It will consume you and in the end will not change the reality of the life you are living. I really hope and pray that you can find you way through this and that you will feel God's peace that passes our understanding. You and your family will be in my prayers for sure. I hope this helps a little Take care    

I wrote to you back in July when i lost my daughter and I'm writing you now to thank you for all you have done to heal my soul and bringing me back to God. Every morning I listen to you on the radio and it somehow helps. The show lifts my soul and has brought me close then ever in my relationship with God. For the first time in six years my husband has gone to church. God has a purpose for all of us. I have come to the realization that my daughter's purpose in life was bigger then I could have ever imagined. Her death saved my husband and he was baptized and excepted Christ as his savor. My husband used to hate that I always had you on in the morning and now he doesn't miss it. So thank you for being a man of God and helping so many people. I've also feel that it's my turn to spread the word so I've decided to go with my church to Haiti to help build a church. It is my job as a Christian to help those in need as I was helped in my time of need. So once again thank you for all you and your crew do for all of us in the world who are inspired every morning to live life in Christ. Thanks.