Encouragement for Foster and Adoptive Parents

Jillana Goble has become a mother in every way possible.

From having her own biological children, to foster, and adopting, she has graphed children into her family. Some have stayed for a season and others for a lifetime. She is now sharing her encouragement and lessons learned in her new book called “A Love Stretched Life.” 

If you need a deep breath and some help taking some pressure off of yourself, this conversation will do it!

You can listen to the full conversation below, but here are a few of the key questions I asked Jillana. 


What has faith looked like in a day to day role of being a love-stretched Mom?

“I feel like the journey I have had with all of my children, it has invited me to press into what it means that God is with us. With is one of the most used words in the Bible. That feels really significant that God is before us and behind us. I take a lot of comfort in that!
One of the things I talk about in “A Love Stretched Life” is trying to transform the mundane places in my life like my car dashboard, my kitchen sink, and my bathroom mirror. I try to put quotes up to remind me, my life is full with a lot of extra, faith to me looks like reminding myself that God is with me.

Especially with foster care and adoption people think it’s a one way arrow and that we will transform their life. It’s actually a mutual arrow in both directions. It’s that way with any of our children but an extra dose of that with fostering and adopting. That is what parenthood invites us to: being mutually transformed!”


What can you do to prepare to be a foster or adoptive parent?

“Do your homework on trauma. In faith communities we act like it’s formulaic and that is not the reality. We can offer so much with a well intentioned heart, but that doesn’t necessarily mean what we offer will be received.

Let go of the myth that love is enough. Do your homework to know your own triggers, humble yourselves, know you are not a super hero but a finite being. You will have chances to learn about yourself on the journey.

Intentionally seek out those who have done foster care and adoption and find out as much as you can.”


Why do you think it’s so important to share from the “messy middle” of our stories?

“Sharing from the “messy middle” allows others to draw encouragement from us sharing before the revelation of what God is doing. Most of our lives look less linear line and more of a scribble.

There are a lot of unnamed expectation in motherhood. You get upset and don’t know why. I have been invited to pivot with things like my adopted child Charlie who have unique and special needs due to fetal alcohol syndrome.

A lot of the hope we can borrow from others comes from the very messy, vulnerable, miserable spots in their lives.”


Related Topics:

, , , , ,
Back to all posts

blog comments powered by Disqus