Envy doesn't look good on anybody.

Envy doesn’t look good on anybody… and yet somehow, it still shows up. It sneaks in while we’re scrolling through vacation photos, fancy dinners, and everyone else’s highlight reels. It’s the thing that happens when we move from that looks fun to my life is so boring and small. It gets even louder during the holidays, when every post seems to scream full tables, perfect moments, and effortless joy. What starts out as admiring decorations quietly turns into frustration, bitterness, and even anger. We never wake up wanting to be envious, but here we are. So what do we do when envy shows up uninvited?

What a gratitude journal might look like.

Get grateful.

Fill the Instagram-envy-gap with gratitude. My personal default is to find the negative in everything. Start getting intentional about finding the positive. Even in hard times, there are bright spots in life. Every day, write down something good that happened that day. It doesn’t have to be huge. Your coffee tasted good? Right it down. There are lots of apps for this but a good ol’ pen and paper will do the trick. (I write it in a gratitude journal.)

A pre-beard Obadiah ringing bells for the Salvation Army.

Go serve.

Do something for others. Research says it’s the greatest way to fight anxiety and stress. There are plenty of volunteer opportunities in our communities. It doesn’t have to be for an organization. Do something nice for a friend or co-worker. Take them cookies. Watch their kids. Ask God to help you find some opportunities. He loves helping us serve others. (I love ringing bells for the Salvation Army this time of year. SO FUN!)

Delete Instagram for a while.

We weren’t designed to see a non-stop feed of the best parts of other people’s lives. Take a break from it.

What does the Bible have to say?

Leaving social media permanently in our modern world isn’t an option for many of us. Instagram is new but envy isn’t. It’s been around since Cain and Abel. What do we do with it? Take a look at Romans 12:15 –

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

Your friend is celebrating Christmas with her new husband while you are just hanging with your furry friends. REJOICE WITH THEM. Congratulate them. Thank God for what He did for them.

Warning: THIS WILL NOT BE EASY.

I have cheered for new babies when I was praying for one. I have thanked God for a friend’s new car when mine was 20 years old (and leaking oil). I have listened to people discuss their amazing vacation while I just rode my couch and stayed home. It’s hard.

What I have found though: it pushes back on bitterness. It fights envy. It allows us to genuinely connect with others instead of withdrawing in jealousy. It’s difficult but it’s better.

The best news? God will help us. You can pour your envy out to the Lord. You can share your situation honestly and not hold back. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him what you want. Ask Him to help you rejoice for others with a genuine heart. We are not alone on this journey and He will help us through it all.

One last thing:

Some of us are currently living our dreams. Life is good. Don’t forget the back half of that verse: “Mourn with those who mourn.” Don’t avoid the friends in your life that are struggling this holiday season. Be willing to pause your celebration to mourn with them. This can be difficult, too, but the same thing applies: ask God to help you and He will.

Who is this Obadiah guy? Meet him here!